I am currently on a year PGCE course in general primary, I feel like I have been in education for so long that I don't know what it is like to not be. There are so many thoughts that challenge me like:
'Why are you doing it, your not guaranteed a job at the end of it?'
'Yes but surely you have a better chance if you have a degree and qualifications behind you'
'Does it even make you happy or is it all about getting a better job to earn more money'
'Is that what people live for?... education which leads to a job which leads to money'
Recently I have been stirred by this idea of what is it we live for and what are our priorities. Is it about doing something that makes you truly happy? what if you don't know what makes you happy?
So often I think life goes by without us realising and sometimes we need to take a step back, stop and think.
The conversation between myself and I goes like this...
'There seems to be this 'right' way to live life that is acceptable to people, they don't mind, don't judge and don't really bother you if you live like this... First you go to school you don't have many responsibilities but then before you know it you have to choose your options, then get you GCSEs and then choose your college. Just as you are settling into college towards the end of your first year you need to start thinking about applying for university. You make a decision and before you know it you have finished your degree. If you don't take any breaks you will be around 22/23 and in urgent need of a job. You may have a partner who by this time you have been together a while, people ask when you think they will 'pop the question?' and yet you don't question them you just say 'ooh I am not to sure'. Then you start to think why haven't they? it becomes the norm, this is the next step in your relationship, this is how you move on. You might need to be moving out of your parents home by now too as they might want to moving on there selves. That reminds me I must get a job. Then it goes get a house, get married have kids, blah, blah, blah.
I am not saying that this is a bad way to live life but I just keep asking myself isn't there more to life than this?
I argue with myself saying of course there is, I have a faith which tells me there is but then when I look at the people I have been surrounded with they seem to love the idea of the 'set life'. I just don't think I want it.
What strives me? what gets me passionate? what do I love?
At times I don't know but I will find out. It may take me some time but something just doesn't sit right with me when I think about the 'set life'. I feel like I have got to 23 and not even stopped to think... I made some decisions in high school about college and have just gone along and now ended up at this cross road of confusion. Not a bad kind of confusion but the kind that makes you actually think, like think in a way for yourself.
Lets see where it leads me...